Chris

* On parenting advice and the idiocy thereof, at Raising My Boychick:

But then I spent years in a parenting and natural living community before getting pregnant (before even deciding to try), so I also know the sting of being dismissed simply for not having had kids yet. I know how much it hurts — and how wrong it is — to tell someone they can't possibly know anything about children just for not having their own yet. And after I spent a couple years spending much of my time around other parents, reading parenting books, studying midwifery and everything baby-related (you should see my book collection!), and my parenting ideas gelled? They didn't change when I had the Boychick. People told me "you'll get a stroller, you'll learn to love disposable diapers, you'll let him cry — just wait, and you'll sing a different tune." And they were, simply, wrong.

And more on the topic of "You don't have kids, so your input is invalid".

* Dream, at Fugitivus, wherein she writes about this dream she had, and how it represents her leaving her abusive relationship… and leaving a friend in one.  Trigger warning for abusive-relationship content in full effect.

Two awesome posts.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.

#1: Jessica Lenahan

At Feministing, Ann writes about Jessica Lenahan and Castle Rock v. Gonzalez. In essence, Lenahan had a restraining order against her estranged husband, Simon Gonzalez. He violated the restraining order, kidnapped their three young children, killed them, then… I don't know what was in his head, but he opened fire on the police station and was killed.

She took this as far as the Supreme Court, who told her that it's not Colorado law enforcement's job to enforce restraining orders, sorry. So she's taking this to the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights.

I wish her all the luck in this. And I wish we had something better than restraining orders.

#2: Shadayra Kilfoy-Flores

Via Livejournal, ginmar posts about Shadayra Kilfoy-Flores and her incompetent assistant DA. The things that are disgusting include (but are not limited to):

* The domestic violence itself.
* The plea bargain, that dropped the potential sentencing from over 11 years to 18 months.
* The fact that burglary has a larger sentence than "substantial battery".

Contact information for DA Brian Blanchard:

Dane County Courthouse Room 3000
215 S Hamilton St
Madison, WI 53703-3297
Tel / TTY: (608) 266-4211
Email: blanchard.brian@mail.da.state.wi.us

I'm composing an email now, and may post it once I'm done.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.

It's links o'clock again.

* The Just World Theory: "According to the hypothesis, people have a strong desire or need to believe that the world is an orderly, predictable, and just place, where people get what they deserve."

* brownfemipower writes on domestic violence in movies: "What would happen if we decided that there were no 'winners' (those who do the culturally acceptable thing and do what we all hope *we* would do in a similar situation) or 'losers' (those who still love the person who is abusing them, or chose to stay for whatever reason, or are killed before they can escape)-just people who have the right to live and love and grow and change?"

* Shauna writes on learned helplessness and political apathy.  As I'm squarely in the camp of largely depressedly apathetic, this post hit me hard, and I plan to let this sit in the mental crockpot for a while.

* In an LJ thread, hotcoffeems makes an awesome statement: "I get irked by this notion that there is a tiny amount of compassion available to us as humans, and therefore it must only be meted out in tiny dribbles to those some tiny-minded individual arbitrarily decides is "deserving enough." I don't care if someone "made their bed", they shouldn't be abandoned to it when things go horribly south."

* In a post about mix-and-match minorities, Katie comments on something interesting – being part of the LGBTI community and being deaf.  And now I want to go be That Person who transcribes YouTube posts.  Goodness.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.

In arguing with someone about abortion statistics, I found a million useful links.  I am reposting them here for future use.

* Facts on Induced Abortion in the United States (05/2006)

* "Expenditures on Children by Families provides estimates of the cost of raising children from birth through age 17 for major budgetary components."

* Volume 3 – Federal Pell Grant Program of the 2003-2004 FSA Handbook

This one is for the argument that there is a grant available for students who need assistance, such as, oh, pregnant college students.  Combine the grant with the costs of raising a child…

* 2006-07 College Costs

So what you do is, you take the average yearly college costs, add in the average Pell Grant amount, and subtract the costs of having a kid.  Factor in things like the Pell Grant amount is based on a full academic year; the amount goes down based on the level of attendance.  And then add the part where you're pregnant, dealing with college, filling out scads of paperwork, and assuming that everything comes out aces.

* Get "In the Know": 20 Questions About Pregnancy, Contraception and Abortion

* The Effects of Early Childbearing On Schooling over Time (Nov/Dec 2001)

* Poorest U.S. Women Increasingly Likely To Face Unintended Pregnancies (5/4/2006)

* Abortion in the US Fact Sheet (.pdf)

* Domestic violence against women in pregnancy

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.