Today's links for today.

Things that have made me sit up and take notes.

1. Spinster aunt eradicates male viewpoint at I Blame The Patriarchy:
   

   Hear me, O afflicted dudes: If you truly do "get" feminism, you know that, like all oppressed classes, women, as a matter of survival, are intimate to the point of exhaustion with the drives, appetites, illnesses, angsts, yearnings, hopes, dreams, great works, and bodily functions of the oppressor. We grasp these things utterly and without omission because we do not live in a cave; they are the default subjects of all art, literature, music, science, film, blogs, dinner conversation, science fiction, advertising, journalism, legislation, TV, the Internet, religion, technology, sport, and miscellaneous culture both low and high. The minute some dude tells me something I don't already know about dudeliness, I'll eat a bonobo.

2. the_red_shoes reviews Dollhouse – be sure to read the comments.  I didn't much want to watch it even before I read reviews.
3. Why sleep with a boy? Oh goodness, see the comments again.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.

Alas, poor rock music.

Have you ever suddenly realised a writing style of yours, and suddenly you can't un-notice it?  This has been bugging me recently.

Anyways.  One big feminist sticking point for me has been that I like a lot of things that could never be called feminist, and I don't want to give them up.  I like them.  I don't want to never see a show again due to my being a feminist.

The lovely thing is, that's not how feminism goes.  From my experience, most* feminist-folk don't say "You can't do $thing, that's not feminist enough!".  They mostly say, "Do as you like, but try to recognise when it's non-feminist."  Like shaving my legs.  I do not shave my legs just for myself.  I shave my legs because that's what's expected of women from society, and I have wicked rippin' anxiety that makes the cost of not shaving higher than I can usually pay.  It's not a feminist act, unless I feel some bizarre need to say "Taking care of my mental health is feminist"… except, where'd that anxiety come from?  Eh?

* 10% of any group is composed of assholes.  Feminism is a group.  Ergo…

I'm losing track.  Anyways.

I have, though, been turned off whole things before due to the poor treatment of women.  For example, I tried watching Star Trek: The Original Series from cover to cover, as my roommates have the whole series on DVD.  And while I do love me some Star Trek, I couldn't keep watching.  I have more experience with the books than with the show, and in the books, women have more character, more experience, more bloody usefulness as people.  I stopped watching in the middle of season 3.  The first to get me full of rage was The Empath, where the star alien was a beautiful mute emotional empath human-looking female.  I fast-forwarded over whole chunks of that episode, because argh, I could not stand it.  And then, right after, Elaan of Troyius.  A savage royal woman is being married to a member of the opposing side in order to stop a war.  She throws huge tantrums, but when Kirk wears her down, she falls apart, says she's worried she won't be liked, and then …"begins to treat him as a loving equal, obeying him when he asks her to go to sickbay (the safest part of the ship)" (source).

…what?  What?  WHAT??

I stopped watching ST:TOS entirely.  I'd been having problems before, but those two episodes, back-to-back, turned me off the show.  I still appreciate it for the forward-thinkingness it had for its time, but I just got goddamn sick and tired of watching women be thorough stereotypes nearly all the damn time.  As I said to my roommate, "I have better things to do than watch women be treated like crap some more."

Music has a way bigger hold on me.  I love to sing.  I sing in the shower, I sing at my computer, I sing when I'm in the middle of a conversation but hold on this part is really good… yeah.  I love it a leetl beet.  And so when I run into songs that are terrible from a feminist standpoint, often I'll let it slide, because that song is familiar and fun to sing to and… I don't want to give it up.  It's part of my nostalgia-things, and I don't want to have to give it up.

On the other hand, if I never ever hear a song that uses the phrase "like a child" to describe the (male) singer's (female) love interest, it will be too goddamn soon.  Minor examples:

* Steppin' Out – Joe Jackson
* Wild World – Cat Stevens
* She's Always A Woman – Billy Joel
* Wicked Garden – STP
* Walks Like A Lady – Steve Miller Band

The song that actually got me considering all this is I Can't Quit Her by Blood, Sweat & Tears.  I otherwise loved the song, but it kept making me itch.  After the third time it randomly came up and I skipped it, it occurred to me that I can give up things I love if they bother me enough.  I am not required to give things up, but it seems I will anyways, because argle bargle, aggravating.

Dear $item:

I… think we shouldn't see each other any more.  I'm really sorry.  It's not you, it's me – I've changed, as a person, and I don't think we have as much in common any more.  We're seeking different things from life.  I'll always love you, but it's time for me to move on.

Be well,

-X

I'm not going to root through my music collection and get rid of everything that's feministically terrible… but apparently, neither am I going to sit back and listen to it forever. Good to know.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.

(no subject)

I have the oddest desire for a colouring book and a big honkin' thing of Crayola crayons with the sharpener in the back.