Chris

Today, on things I don't understand:

A person uses an inappropriate word during a conversation, and when they're called on it, they spend hours justifying how it's just a word, you're too sensitive, blah blah blah.  The part I don't get: they would rather spend those hours than use a different word.  They will pull out dictionary definitions of the word they used to show how it's not always offensive, god, rather than use a different word.

Dear you assholes:

THE THESAURUS IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE DICTIONARY.

I realise that they just hate to be wrong, or they hate to feel like they're someone who would use such language, or they're just assholes, or whatever, but the energy-use cost/benefit analysis is totally skewed!  There are hundreds of thousands of words in the English language; pick a different word!


I get annoyed by the weirdest aspects of things.

Dearest darlingest the world:

If the only way you can fit your content above the fold is by using a 6-point motherfucking font size, perhaps you have too much goddamn content.

Fuckers,
-X

Dear ACT! by Sage and Microsoft Outlook 2007:

Fuck you both with live werepineapples.

Fucking hell,
X

It's a four-click process to get to OL's add-ins, five if I want to manage the Exchange ones versus the COM ones.  I can only choose one or the other, because choosing one means the Trust Center closes.  The part where ACT! should have uninstalled its add-ins should be understood.

I'm sure there's some positively riveting reason why it takes that many steps to get to the add-ins list, as well as why the Trust Center has to close when I open one or the other (a new feature as of 2007), but frankly, I don't give a damn.

Two more brief rants, all in one example-type sentence!

"Well, they call me names, so I have every right to call them names, and they have no right to complain!"

1) You know, it's one of those things where I know what's meant by "right" in that context, and I still want to bust out my slappin' hand.

2) Sweet pickled fuckernuts, are you in middle school??  "She started it!!"  Was there a coupon that came with someone treating you wrong?  "Receive idiocy, and you're entitled to be an idiot right back for only 80% of the original moral cost!"

Person A: Does something dumb or wrong or hurtful.
Person B: Is hurt or annoyed or upset; does the exact same thing back.
Reasonable Person: 's head explodes.

...

Secretly, I'm annoyed today.

Windows Mobile phones suck, and you suck for having one.

Today's minor pet peeve:

Sometimes, Windows help files will refer to a button in a toolbar.

Fuckheads, put an image of the button, so I don't have to mouse over each goddamn one to find it.

Allow me to describe to you every CSI show ever ever.

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The crime happens.  For some reason, no one catches on to the fact that a crime scene investigator doesn't investigate people.

The lead guy glowers and is stern and stuff.  He finds the suspect, who lies, because that's what they do.  Sometimes they tell the truth, just to switch it up, but that just means they're really lying.

Science Happens.  Woosh!  It confirms that the first suspect has something to do with the original crime!

Suspect is brought into the Office Of Truth.  Unable to resist the truth-rays, the suspect tells the truth.

More Science.  Woosh!  Unbeknownst to the viewers at home, all scientists were forced to superglue their hair to their head, to prevent stray strands from dropping into the DNA samples.  They also had to wear clear face masks, which explains their acting.

The wily Science-O-Meter tracks down a better suspect, who is brought into the office in order to tell the truth nothing but.

Science Goes Woosh.  Woosh!  Now it's time for grisly stuff!  Because you really wanted to know the inner workings of a knife going into someone's eyeball!

Is it a third person?  Or does the woosh point to the first one again?  Wacky hijinks ensue!  Oh the funky suspense!

The lead guy glowers some more.  Watch him glower.  Doesn't he look a lot like William Macy?  Well, he isn't.  Glower glower glower.

And lo, a sudden twist at the end!  It was the person you least suspected the most!  Er, the least!  Least most the least!  Ah, whatever.  Someone was caught, or something, and... that's... good.  Yes!  We all can get behind that, right?

In closing, the makers of the show would like to point out to you that the show is based on the fact that one person's observation of events (a) isn't the entirety of the matter and (b) he might be lying, so nyeah, you couldn't have figured that out on your own anyways, not unless you're a Crime Scene Investigator.

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Dear god, I hate this show.  On the bright side, I have the best icon for this rant.