Chris

J: Why would you be on a plank in the ocean?
X: You have to have a plank!  It's not sustainable otherwise!
J: You could be under the sea, instead.
X: "Darling it's better / Down where it's wetter / Pornographic'ly"
J: "I've only finished half my coffee, and she's filking at me!"

I was forced!  Yep, that's my excuse.

( I am *also* working. Fear this. )

I had to do it.  I had to do it.  I had to do it.  *rocks in place*

To the tune of "I'll Be There For You", by Bon Jovi:

I guess this time you're finished reading
I heard the Webster's slamming shut
And as my fingers sit here bleeding
(I always get these papercuts)

You say you've over a thousand words
In your vocab database
You leave me flound'ring, thoughts unheard
And I can't keep a straight face

Now I'm logged on Priceline, to find a flight to you, girl

[chorus:]
I'll eat all your brains
I'll make sure that none remain
I just want to make it absolutely plain
I'll eat all your brains
I'll fly out just to eat your brains
This is my new meal campaign
Words can't make this any more plain
I will eat your braaains

"I know you know" is our favourite catchphrase
"Figured figured!" a shortened form
I can promise you that these will
Make it in my Xicon

And baby I know you have tasty brains
I just wanted to share your idiolect
I'll buy you OED entries for your birthday
You're my favourite intellect

[chorus]

I can't be there when you are happy
I can't be there when you are down
I didn't mean to live on the East coast
Far away from your own West coast town

[chorus]