*rubs mandibles together*

[nonethefewer]

In game, we found a man buried in a tree.  Or perhaps turning into a tree?  Anyways, he'd been a tree for about two years, and never stops screaming.  Someone shot him, to put him out of his misery... and that stopped the screaming, for a few minutes.

J: (to NPC) Where did you shoot him?
NPC: Right between the eyes.
GM: There's a bit of blood on his face, but his forehead is smooth.
J: What do we do now?
X: I say saw off a branch, and see if there's a change in the screaming.
All: ...
X: Oh, c'mon!
Jf: Science is not always the answer!
X+B: Science is always the answer!
X: You blasphemer!
X: Has his hair grown in that time?  If one of you smashes in his head, does it reinflate like a balloon?  Eee!
J: *stare*

C'MON.

(Does he breathe when he screams?  (Answer: no!  Oo!)  If we flash a light in his eyes, do they dilate?  Does he react to sounds near his ears?  Oo, oo, do we have any heavy painkillers, how does he react?  Holy god I must absolutely try to get sap from this tree.)

[eta] WE NEED FIRE.  Oh, and sawing off some roots.  Would he starve to death?  I should probably not be enjoying this.

Originally posted on Dreamwidth.  Number of comments so far:

Comments

[australian-joe.livejournal.com]

This all makes perfect sense to me! :)

(I would also have tried pouring out analgesics over the dripline of his root system...)

[brynndragon.livejournal.com]

The pain-killer suggestions would be highly amusing if he was stuck in/as a willow tree. . .

(Maybe he's not in physical pain, but mental anguish - you could try dribbling some Benzos on the roots ;P)

[vvvexation.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. "Peel off his own skin and feed it to him, and see if he screams more or less!"

[the-xtina.livejournal.com]

...how did I not think of intubation?  Where does his throat go; where is the air coming from?

Can he salivate, even?  Is his mouth dry?; what's on the insides of his cheeks?

Oh, yes, see if his neck's exposed, and cut an artery!  What comes out?

...I'm gonna forward this to the GM.  ^^

[esmereldaferalv.livejournal.com]

That is all kinds of fabulous! Man you're really making me regret leaving!

What about just peeling bark off? Or are there any parasitic plants growing on the tree - like moss? I know you're in the jungle, so that rules out what happens in autumn when the leaves fall off, but also would be interesting to see, if in the right climate... Oh oh! What happens if you take a cutting of the tree to grow back at Miskatonic!?!?! *wicked grin*

I MUST come back :D