Full. of. politics.

[nonethefewer]

This has been sitting in my head for a couple of days now. It's a jumble of thoughts and things. Like my head.

To be completely honest–

Which means "Usually I don't talk about this", not "Usually I lie about this". I am so picky about that phrase, I swear.

–I don't usually pay attention to politics, largely because I can't. And I am using "can't" nonliterally – yes, I could pay attention, but the problem is twofold:

1) I need to be able to get out of bed in the morning, for serious. I posted this elsewhere: I know it probably makes me a weak person, but I strongly prefer to get my news from feminist-leaning sites (as that's my strongest leaning; after that is "generic moderate-liberal"), because it helps knowing someone is on my side. A real-life equivalent would be reading newspaper sections aloud to a like-minded friend (or having them read it, whatevs) – I feel less alone.

2) I am not good with my time sense, so it's hard for me to process… I can't explain this well. I can't see the forest for the trees, is the best expression. I see all the little things piling up day after day, and it's fantastically hard for me to pull back and go "Things are improving", in a way that leaves me feeling like my contributions even matter.

Not to mention the usual anxy things of "What if I don't have all the facts?" and so forth. Feh.

But damn, yall, Obama. I seriously teared up when he gave his speech on Tuesday. I've been watching videos and viewing photos all day today, and have continued to get all sniffly. I tried looking at McCain videos/pictures, but it turns out I'm not always big on schadenfreude. Earlier on Tuesday, I went to the elections office to drop off my ballot*, and I was practicing thinking of other people as real, important individuals, even if I don't know or like them. I couldn't turn that off for the McCain folk, it seems.

* Oregon has mail-in ballots, but I don't trust the USPS, and I do trust my anxy procrastination. Sounds weird, but it's true. And hey, I dropped off my ballot, with plenty of time to spare. Portland made it wicked easy – it's right on a bus route, and they had street signs for directing traffic to the drive-up drop-off box. *pleased* I like it here.

And he and his wife are going to get their kids a shelter dog on the way to the White House. Good heavens, I beamed so widely at that.

I rankle at people talking about how we should get to work now. But then, I tend to rankle when people are being patronising. copperwise here put it best: "Quite a few people are posting cranky things which indicate to me that they don't know the difference between hope and naivety." And Naamah encapsulates it perfectly:

I'm not expecting anything out of Obama, really, more than some good speeches, looking swell, and not embarrassing us to the world at large. And being able to say "nuclear." WE are the ones who have to do all the work. And that is the part that makes me think we chose well. We chose someone who CAN inspire that in us, and who won't attempt to tear it all down.

HELLO YES THX.

It's not hope like blind faith. It's hope like inspiration, like motivation.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.