(no subject)

[nonethefewer]

rosefox brought to my attention that I haven't really thought out my reasoning for or against adoption.  All of my thoughts/feelings on adoption are: "It's expensive and complex and jumbled, and feels like walking into somebody else's black-boxian project."  Unfair, since I haven't even looked into it.  Like seriously, the extent of my knowledge on this comes from snippets from various types of media, and a bit from a recent post at Shakesville.

I am going to go read through that post at Shakesville, and see if folk have recommended books or links on adoption.  Also I will see if I can find... accounts of folk who have pursued adoption, particularly in Oregon (being as how that's where I live).  Yay the law, &c.

If you have input, please feel free to provide.

Comments

[mousme.livejournal.com]

I have no actual information to share, since I live in Canada and the laws and such are very different, but if you ever want to natter about adoption per se I'd be happy to, as I am an adopted child myself. :)

[pnkrokhockeymom.livejournal.com]

Ditto this. I don't know adoption law (antitrust law? v. v. different). But am adopted. :)

[sarahwilder.livejournal.com]

If you go to Amazon.com and search "adoption" "books" the reviews are really helpful.

[bernmarx.livejournal.com]

We considered adoption if it turned out that V and I were not readily fertile. I was surprised to learn (from my step-mother after his passing) that my father the clergyperson was vehemently opposed to adoption; when we'd mentioned it to him a few years back, he seemed stoic but not upset, but apparently he railed to her after we'd gone home. So, people are surprising in their reactions (it was also a nimby thing for him: Other people adopting was, of course, encouraged).

Anyhoo.

Our own concerns about adoption involved cost, time, and blackboxian concerns. If we had wound up adopting (and if we want a second child, we may still), it would be an older child: The struggle would be that personality issues would be present, but we're going to have enough frustration diapering our own offspring. :) If there were a way to skip that bit entirely, we'd be all for it, which was why we considered adoption in the first place.

We did look into adopting specifically from Eastern Europe, as that's where V's family is from and we'd feel more secure that the adoption was final and such. One anxiety we had was that we'd get 95% through the process and parents or bloodkin would show up and kibosh the entire thing.

[kyburg.livejournal.com]

Just click on my 'adoption' type tags in my journal - you should get a whole lotta stuff.

[jrthro.livejournal.com]

My older sister and her late ex-husband adopted two children after having their first son by in vitro fertilization. Both of them, a boy and a girl, were adopted as infants. They are now 22 and 17 years old, respectively. As far as I know, their being adopted has never been an issue for them, their parents, or anyone else.

Our neighbors adopted their now-2-year-old son as an infant after foster-parenting him for a while. There were some screwups in the paperwork on the part of the courts, but things worked out. They are in the process of adopting a second son who they are also fostering. He is 5 months old and there have also been foulups in the scheduling of hearings, required public notifications, etc., but things are moving along. It's been intermittently very emotional for them, particularly when they've been afraid that things wouldn't work out with the adoptions. They also have a 9-year-old daughter who is their biological child.