(no subject)

[nonethefewer]

The Itsy Bitsy Bug

The itsy bitsy bug went in production code
Down came the system--server overload
Up went a patch that fixed the server strain
Till another bitsy bug was found in there again

Hush Little Baby

Hush little baby, don't file a bug
Dev's gonna drink from a coffee mug
Once that mug is empty, well
Dev's gonna open a Unix shell
If the shell script will not run
Dev will restart the server, hon
If that server won't come up
Dev will pour whiskey in the coffee cup
Once that whiskey does its stuff
Dev'll force it all to work, sure enough
Now the application's back
Dev'll update the folk in Slack
You're a patient baby and kind
You can file bugs, the dev won't mind!

Broken Broken Set of Files

Broken broken set of files
How the hell did you compile?
References and pointers lost
Weeks and weeks of effort: tossed
Rewrite everything from scratch
Somehow faster than a patch

Rockaby Baby

Rock-a-bye baby in the colo
You'll live in here while servers are slow
Upgrade, reboot, and watch them all stall
And down will come servers, patches and all

Can I Break In

Can I break in, can I break in
Infosec? Infosec?
Send HR an email
Social engineering
Hacked again, hacked again