Apparently, "no" is a negotiable statement.

I went out to the local pub for a bite to eat.  My partner is… elsewhere (Texas?), and this guy I've been dating wasn't in today, so I almost didn't go.  I'd been sick, though, and wanted a bit of company and something-like-food, plus I'd just locked myself out of the house, so I went to the pub.

While there, I got hit on by this drunk guy.  He would repeat that I'm gorgeous, I'm gorgeous (after which I'd say "Thank you"), but he didn't go much of anywhere with that.  I asked him straight-out what he was looking for.  And so (assume long gaps between his lines and mine; he was very drunk):

G: I think you and I could have something together.
X: I don't think so.
G: Why not?
X: I am… not particularly interested in you.  If nothing else, I'm already dating other people; I don't think I'd have the time for it.
G: You know… that's bullshit.
X: Which part?  The interested part, or the dating others part?
G: The last one.
X: You're absolutely right.  I am not interested in you in that way.
G: [after fifteen years of him saying "But I'm good-looking!"] That's still bullshit.
X: How so?
G: I think you're interested.
X: Er… no.
G: See, you just smiled!
X: *eyeroll*  At any rate, my food has finally cooled down, so I am kicking you out so I can eat.

This prompted him to resist being kicked out, by any means necessary.  I could hear him gearing up for the "You don't own this table!" argument, with the backups of "You shouldn't be mean, I'm a nice guy!" and maybe "I don't mean nothin'!".  Erg.  So, I grabbed my food and coat and moved to another table.  He followed me.  I said: "I am done with this conversation, I would like to eat my dinner, and I have asked you several times to leave.  I am done, so please go."  He made some stupid "Awright, jeez" motions and moved off.

I asked bartender 1 whether she knew this guy.  "Oh yeah, was he drunk and talkin' shit?  Oh damn!  I'll have a word with him next time."  I decided that… I should not substitute her trust for mine, and I still didn't trust him.  It's not a slam on her, rather I still felt off about it all, and I deny enough things without doing it again.  While eating, I saw bartender 2 grab a guy and go to the side door (where the asshole'd left), and I saw said asshole standing there.  I couldn't see what was going on.  I wanted to ask the bartender, but they were busy, so.  (I asked the guy she dragged with her, who said that he thought they'd have to kick him out, but that wasn't the case.  He seemed sort of confused.)

I left out the side door (it was closest, and it had been 10 minutes), and I got a few yards away when I looked back to check for traffic and saw him waiting at the front door.

…

I called my partner and had him be on the phone with me.  I waited on someone's partially obscured front porch (one-way viewing effect) until he went back inside, then I went home as quickly as possible.  I am still mildly freaked out.

Things from this:

* I am very proud of myself for being direct and not feeling like I had to play nice to the guy.
* Regardless, I could do better.  As much as it galls me to say it, the asshole was right to call bullshit the first time – I wasn't interested, and my dating status has nothing to do with it.
* I also could've stopped being polite earlier on.  I knew where it was going, after all.  Stupid habits.
* I did not substitute another's trust for mine, and that is five kinds of awesome.
* I should have asked the second bartender what had been going on.  I could have waited, but I wanted to get home while I could.
* Go the hell me for not going directly home until I saw that he'd gone back inside.

Tomorrow, I will get incredibly enraged that this is socially acceptable behaviour.  I will also have plenty to say on the ways he could have got me, if I were younger.  Likely, I will also include a bit about how he is absolutely not some statistical outlier.  Today, I'm going to go take some NyQuil and pass out.

Originally posted at Xtinian Thoughts.  Comment here or there.